The wife

He likes to confront things head on; she prefers to leave the room to cool down. You decide the verdict in this communication breakdown.

Martin should strive to be more open to Jilly’s input and Jilly should make an effort to view conflict not as some unpleasantness imposed on her but as a natural part of partnership that needs to be worked through as a team. It’s the stress of not seeing each other. But he got offended and complained that the holiday would be a waste. It’s good to leave a conversation when you feel it’s going south. Martin’s right when he says I was raised in a household that was totally different from his. So I got up and left the room, even though in that case it wasn’t me who needed a cooling-off period, it was him! When it’s a particularly touchy topic and things start to get heated, I’d rather go off and think about things. It’s the phone equivalent of walking out of the room. I said, “What’s the point in going away together at all?” I got annoyed but Jilly walked out of the room saying she needed some space. I thought Jilly had booked too few activities: I like to be active and go sightseeing, but she prefers to sunbathe. It’s not fair to say I can’t deal with conflict. My wife of seven years and I disagree about how to resolve petty arguments.